| congratulations!!!!
.. been a while huh?
-the end
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| fuck you fuck you fuck you thanks for your help fuck you fuck you fuck you thanks for being true fuck you you you you and you for never understanding that sometimes life gets fucking SERIOUS so back the fuck up and smile your whole day through |
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| i need to find ppl who actually still use their xanga. or perhaps i should move on to somethin like live journal
gah. nobody blogs anymore!
k.
so update.
I'm feeling slightly better.
I took some hydrocodone earlier this week. it was a pretty chill experience. and then i slept all damn day. all these funny thoughts kept popping into my head like eating peanut butter with a can opener. and renaming drugs "funcopy" thats the one name i remember... anyway.. I slept good and my stomach stopped hurting. and when i woke up it was a new day and i had a job.
i start monday at BP as a safety attendant. workin like 12 hour shifts everyday most likely and gettin paid 13 an hour plus all that overtime of course. coming to a pretty happy check of over 1000 dollars a fucking week.
Kick
ASS
so I'm working on my clothing line Fashattic and Fashattic:carmellia for the winter. and its going pretty good so far.
I'm starting off with accessories first actually cause i dont have much time to make real clothing like shirts and such.
but i'm making tutus and petticoats and sold a few at my friends store in the mall "look'n good fashions" but.. i kinda stopped sellin em to her cause i'm makin like a 3 dollar profit and thats a lot of work for only 3 dollars. i make a lot more profit if i just sell them online or at cons
so fashattic and carmellia will both debut at oni-con artist alley which has been moved back to December 19th through 21st because of hurricane ike.
Ebay store will probably opened soon. when i get my finances all together and things will really begin to kick ass.
Expect to find Skirts, tutu's petticoats, Scarves, mittens, beanies, and ear muffs available for purchase by december.
ummm
its about all for now
I finally have electricity after 2 weeks without thanks to hurricane ike which meant know sewing machine or internet.
but i learned how to knit :)
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| and even so... everybody thinks they have the right to share their opinion of whats right and whats wrong. Why didnt you care before we fucking burried her to come see the woman who thought of everybody as her child? WHy the fuck cant you stop complaining about your bullshit and think about the shit going through MY HEAD while I have to talk you out of dumb shit. Because YOU DONT CARE. and for that i say FUCK YOU and everything you think you know better than me. because i'll never be there to fix another mistake for you. You're disgusting. I wish i didn't know you. You could never make a situation like this better because you're too pathetic to even try to hear it through. the thought of you makes me sick. the thought of living life here makes me cry. The thought of a life short lived while I'm away from my pathetic now broken family simply makes me want to Die. and either way I turn. nothing will be fixed. |
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| no matter where i turn this problem can not be fixed. I can't cry to my family or what ever is left of it because all i will do is bring them down. Nobody else could find a time of the day to care at all. Running away wont solve a thing, I wont know anybody to comfort me elsewheres. Staying locked up doesnt solve a thing. This house has gone to shit without her. Theres nothing left to make me want to stay for my own self. every fucking reason is to take care of them. The only thing worth anything at all is wanting to run away with Trent. and that cant happen because his life is nothing like mine. I want to take care of him and him to take care of me yet neither of us can take care of each other yet. and when will a time come that we can when we cant find a way out of this same fucking circle we go through everyday. They'll all die if i'm not around and then i'll have to blame myself for not being around to save them. and I'll kill myself staying here. Nobody sees it through my eyes or even begin to understan |
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